I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
