I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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