im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
