p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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