cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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