I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
