your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
