What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize