whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
