how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
