College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Terrible idea I love it
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He did a backflip because drugs
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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