We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
porn star boner night. come get it.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
