when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
my liver is dry heaving
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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