I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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