you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
