Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize