how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
