considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
