Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
