she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
