All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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