Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
