i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
