She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
