we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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