Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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