i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
