but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
