I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
