im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
