Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
