At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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