so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
FUCK WHALES
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize