Who did Billy Mays play for?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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