Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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