Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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