Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
