is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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