I want to have your abortion
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The adults are the big ones right?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize