My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
