You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
