Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
