just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
