she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
