I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
