If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
