Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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