You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
