hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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