He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
