Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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