it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
