is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize