he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
