the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Please, let me fuck your mom
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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