I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize