Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
