Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize