Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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