I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
