Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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