Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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