It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
